Why compete?

When was it exactly that I lost my way? It used to be simple. Sweet and pure. Now it is so complicated that I dread to even give it a try.

The fear of losing. Losing against whom? Winning what?

There used to be a time I remember when I created for pure pleasure. And I felt like the son of God.

Now I am so afraid and frozen that I think twice before hitting a key on the keyboard. Will these words be the best words ever written by man in a blog?

That's a funny thought. But imagine living your life that way. Competing every second. Measuring up to something every act that you are to attempt.

I am now at a point where I fear I have momentarily lost my way in trying to find out how my neighbour runs his life, If he has got a car better than mine, a wife more beautiful than mine. A kid more intelligent than the one I have got.

My neighbour lives in my house today.

And I am homeless.

That's a good place to start rethinking.

I need to find a home. Any home. To restart a humble life.

From scratch. And regain the joy that is now but a distant memory. Dissipated in the oh so many sermons i gave at the pulpit of my successes. To people who once listened, and now have moved on to a more entertaining Priest.

I am homeless.

And that's good.

I am far from completing this post. But I have to go now for some errand.

I shall send back notes from the ground.