Soldier In Love

Here I am a lonely soldier
Always soldier alone was I
Now I feel lonely more

I set eyes on you
Before I left to play
With death
On the battlefield.

Just a glance of you I got
Before the weight of the gun
Laid across my chest
Call of duty
Weighed upon me

I thought of what name I would use
What string of sounds
To describe you
None I confess, perfect.

No earthly sound I've heard
Seemed to even know of you
How then could I expect them
To dare even a try?
I gave up!

Amidst sweaty comrades
Lewdness abound
Rickety paths, relentless cold
Noises inside desperately trying
To diffuse the noise around

Of bombs, of cries, of dying friends
And death-calls raised to enemies made
Anew with every falling pal

Amidst the fear that raises its head
Fearlessly, through all the training;
Amidst laughter too loud, gaiety too gay
Confessions made of confessing fear
You are with me, through it all

In vain the attempts of fearless men
To dodge with the truth of war!

Who are you, whose name I know
Not makes a difference to me now
What are you then, that I carry in me?

Are you the girl my pal tells me
Married twice and making merry
Once with the drunkard,
Once with the teacher?
Are you the girl my pal seems to know?

Or is this just another prank
That my pal is known to frequently pull?
Or is it true this, which he says
The naive, too weak, they want to shy
Away from the pain of the truth?

Tell me are you what you are?
Or are you what I think?
Or are these, as I hope and pray
But just the same!

Are you the angel I think you are
Or a prank of the setting sun?
Shadows, they are known to play
Tricks on men,
'Specially those
Longing to be tricked

What matter it is to me now?
My pal, he chides me knowingly
Why trouble writing a poem on you?

When whizzing past a metre away
Is someone else's death
Which could as easily have been mine?

I want to laugh, with gaiety too gay
I'm tempted to think you're a mirage
But here I am just a minute away
From a bullet that demands truth!

You are.... you are.... you are...

What are you, in this moment of truth?
The bullet, there it seems to help!

I know!

You are not the girl my pal sees
Nor even the angel that I think.

You are the question that you raised in me.

The answer I carry to my grave.

The bullet, the truth, and you in me.